Day 157

Wednesday, August 11th, 2010

Day 157 - Headed back to school today.  Teachers reported today with students returning next Monday.  So many emotions and thankfully most of them positive.  I know many, many people were specifically praying for my return and I'm so very thankful.  I'm more than confident your prayers were answered. 

I was selected to give a small talk to our staff regarding this year's theme - "Awake!" taken from 2 Cor 5:17, "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."  The idea is be awakened to the truth that we are new creatures in Christ and as new creatures we can do what the preceding verses tell us which is to "not live for ourselves but to live for Him who died and rose again..."  It was good to talk amongst our staff team as to what living for Christ means, and to hear stories of how God had awakened some of us this summer.  Our time together was rich with some sweet "below the surface" conversation.  My prayer is that Christ would grab hold of each staff member at my high school and tighten the screws until each of us has answered the question beyond a shadow of a doubt, "Who am I living for?" 

The various meetings I was a part of today went well.  A very good first day. 

I had much to share with Leigh and under normal circumstances we would have spent the 30 minute drive home on the phone with each other.  I would have replayed the day's events and she would have been genuinely interested.  I don't know why she took such great interest in my job.  Often it wasn't reciprocated.  But she did nonetheless, and I always loved talking to her on the ride home. 

Tonight the ride was quiet.  I replayed the day in my head, smiling at times, but that's as far as it went.  And on most nights, moving forward, that's as far as it will ever go.  This is yet another reason why grieving takes such a long time.  No one can prepare you for moments like this.  You simply find yourself in them and then without warning emotions go from "that was a great day," to, "I never knew how much I enjoyed talking to my wife on the way home from work, and I miss that." 

Tomorrow is a new day.  My soul has definitely been awakened since Leigh died, and I've concluded there's no other way to live than to live for Him.  I'm not excited for the school year to begin the way I'd be excited to go play a round of golf.  Rather I'm excited for the school year to begin because I will be looking every day for God to show up and amaze me.  We're on Day 1 and He's done just that.

Prayer Requests:
- Prayers for Bailey as he's fighting some kind of upset stomach
- Prayers for me and the kids as we are now living by schedules, which has its pros and cons

"Father, You were incredibly good to me today.  Thank You for the encouragement and support.  Thank You for constantly showing me how real You are.  May I get out of the way and let You do some amazing things with our little high school.  Nothing would be more satisfying than for staff and students to live for You.  May this be the year that I become radical for You."