Day 178

Wednesday, September 1st, 2010

Day 178 -  God's hand has been on me and the kids.  Ministry opportunities keep presenting themselves and those that I've already participated in have gone extremely well.  I've done well this week of shifting my focus from Leigh Ann to God.  Leigh was always involved in my ministry and almost always after I would preach, teach, or lead worship, I would seek her out for feedback.  I loved hearing her thoughts.  Now, my audience is the Lord and I truly have no one else to please but Him.  Because of this I feel a sense of freedom that's been missing for some time.  I loved what Leigh had to say but admittedly there were several times when impressing her was a huge part of my motivation.  After all, hearing "great job" from your wife never gets old.

Life is different now in so many ways, and probably most evident would be how much we depend on schedules. I got home from work today, quickly showered, and started up the van. The kids were with my mom and her SUV pulled into the driveway as I was opening our garage door. All three hopped out of one car right into another and off we went to our next destination. My posts have been scarce this week because the above-mentioned seems to be true of most days as of late. One event stacked upon another. No sympathy as these are all things I've agreed to.  Just that life has become very busy, and busy leads to fatigue, and fatigue leads to an incredible ache for Leigh to be with me for all the reasons you can imagine. Such is the case tonight.  I ache for her thoughts, her wisdom, her help.  Working through, in my head, all the things that need to get done has gotten old.  I'm tired of the "mechanical" feel life has right now.  I'm tired of giving brief answers to those who ask how I'm doing or how my day was.  I'm tired of missing having that lengthy conversation with Leigh at the end of each day that would help prepare me for the next.  All in all, I'm just tired.

Prayer Requests:
- I'd love prayers for upcoming ministry opportunities.  Several preaching dates, leading a weekly bible study at school, chapel speaking dates, and teaching two seminars.  God has been so gracious with these opportunities.  I just need some time to prepare.
- Prayers for patience with the kids.  I love them more than life but they're still kids and at times they get the best of me! 

"Father, thank You for continuing to show up.  Day after day it's been so good to see You at work.  Life has been so hard and yet so wonderful.  And while I'm tired and ready to give up You keep proving how wonderful life can be.  I love You and desire to serve only You.  Thank You for my kids.  May You protect their little hearts.  Keep drawing them to Yourself."