Day 359 - There are several pictures in my bedroom of Leigh and me. Pictures I took down today. They were hanging in my bedroom and I just got tired of remembering a great trip to Hawaii coupled with the thought of never being able to venture off again with the one I love.
It's exhausting trying to remember every detail of the past. All I have with Leigh is the past and the hundreds of times I think about her each day are nothing but memories. I’m thankful I have many great ones to choose from but the most recent one (going to dinner the night before she was killed) is a year old. I’ve made new memories in the past year as I’m sure she has, they just don’t involve each other.
My memory of Leigh Ann is ever so slowly fading and that breaks my heart. I never imagined I’d forget what my wife sounds like, her smile, her touch. But that’s what’s happening. Every day apart is a day my life is filled with other things, other people. Of course my fear is so much time will pass before I die that we will forget what we had for 13 years. That thought has caused many tears.
Many have reached out knowing this would be a difficult week. So far they’re right.
you don't know me but i've been following your blog since last summer. i lost two of my close friends last year under the age of 30. taken too soon, just like you know. my close friend, rebecca nadelhoffer, linked me to your site after stating that "life's not fair." her sister, debbie, knew Leigh Ann. i also have a good friend in Gilbert, AZ who is a strong Christian as well and i've linked her to your story. so i'm just another "stranger" in God's kingdom praying for you and your kids this week. i know how hard "firsts" are without my friends i've lost and i can only imagine the difficulty have it be your wife. may God's peace surround you. -adrienne
ReplyDeleteYour post is so heart breaking, you will never forget Leigh or what you had, you are just getting close to the Anniversary date of her death. You feel like you are forgetting things about Leigh,look at it this way, you have 3 Beautiful children, that need you and you are the ONLY parent they have so you are busy, juggling what they need in there life, most dad`s never experience what you have to, I to have followed your blog since you let us read about Leigh, and please don`t feel like you have lost Leigh, she is there everyday with you, I believe this BLOG help many people, and you are a very nice husband to let us know your Leigh, even though I have never met her I feel thru you I know her, you are in my prayers
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