Day 364 - Leigh Ann Tonkinson, Born February 5th 1975, Died March 6th 2010
I love this picture because it captures my wife so well. You can tell she was married by the small ring on her finger. A ring she faithfully wore for 13 years. A ring which lays still in a cupboard now but was once worn by a woman who knew how to do marriage so very well. Mature beyond her years she taught her husband volumes on the subject and he will be forever grateful. He didn't say this to her enough but he's had a year to ponder how lucky he was to have had her as his wife. How he wishes every day God would return her for just a few more years so he could tell her that.
This picture also shows how happy she was to be a mother. Leigh Ann could have successfully pursued her career with more hours, more academics, receiving more accolades. Instead she chose to spend time with her children. There was a deep love between her and the kids that I have not been able to replicate by any stretch. She knew what to say and how to say it, inevitably making things better. Her children adored her and she them. Their time together was brief and I'm sad for the kids, not because they're without a mother, but because they're without Leigh Ann.
Finally this picture shows her eyes. When I stare at them I can see a myriad of facets to her life - beauty, intelligence, wisdom, love, laughter, godliness. Leigh Ann loved life and she lived it well. She loved growing in her faith, discussing the ways of the Lord. She was an excellent partner to have in ministry - patient, long-suffering, compassionate.
All to say there is much about Leigh Ann Tonkinson I miss. There is much about her we all miss. Today marks the day many of us received the worst news of our lives. One year ago today the sounds of weeping were almost deafening. That day many of us found out we would have to do life without the one we love. Life without the one who brought us so much joy. We were told we would see her once again but that the rest of our days this side of Heaven would have to be spent without her. And that is what this past year has been - a year without Leigh Ann.
Today I'll steal the kids away for an overnight at a local hotel. We'll go to the cemetery and remember what once was and then we'll get away and be thankful for what we still have. The hotel has an indoor-pool and a 24/7 snack bar. Translation - Heaven on Earth.
This is a day to cry, to mourn, to grieve. I've been doing it since I woke up. But it is also a day to remember Leigh has been in God's presence for a year now. She's in a place many of us are headed and my guess is she can't wait for us to join her. In the meantime I'd imagine she would want us to live life well - live by faith, love God and love others, worship our Savior, remember the cross, and enjoy life (if you look closely at the picture you'll notice a Dr. Pepper can in the background! How Leigh loved Dr. Pepper!).
Though we are hurting today may our prayer echo the prophet Habakkuk - "Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty. Yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation! The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights." - Hab 3:17-19, NLT
A truly heartfelt "thank you" to everyone who has reached out this week. The kids and I are standing on your prayers. We love you.
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