Day 109 - A fun day of ice-skating was book-ended by tears. Somewhat of the norm. Wasn't expecting to wake up and cry my way through the first hour of the day but some days that's what you get I guess. I had to put the finishing touches on Leigh's gravestone which had me thinking about her a lot. This, coupled with seeing a picture of her in some summer attire, caused me to want her back very badly. Leigh Ann loved the summer. Her favorite season by far. And seeing her in that picture reminded me of how desperately I wanted to enjoy the summer with her. Doing it alone isn't at all the same.
Tonight was rough. Bailey lost his DS so we spent time looking for it (found it), which made us all a little irritable. As bed time approached I found Caden in bed crying. He too was missing Leigh Ann. This of course made me start crying again. Just a "raw" night emotionally. I know they're necessary so that we can all deal with what we're feeling but truth be told I'm not a huge fan. I'd much rather be having a family night with Leigh where we're all wrestling, dancing around, watching a movie, eating popcorn, enjoying a sweltering summer night. Instead, my 10 year-old is trying to make sense of missing someone so much that he's crying himself to sleep. To say I hate this would be a gross understatement.
That's how the day started and ended. But like an Oreo, the good stuff was in the middle. The four of us tried ice-skating this afternoon. Malia and Bailey's first time. They were all troopers. I'm not seeing any Michelle Kwans or Scott Hamiltons just yet, but who knows?!
Prayer Requests:
- Prayers that me and the kids would continue to talk openly about how we're feeling
- Prayers that God would give me wisdom
- Prayers that we'd extend grace, patience, and forgiveness to each other
"Father, thanks for three healthy kids. Thanks that we can enjoy some physical activity. I pray that you'd speak to Caden, Bailey, and Malia in a way that only You can. Take care of them. Let them experience Your goodness."
As always, thanks for sharing your heart! I had to comment on the last photo of Bailey and Malia in the chinese splits!( i can say that since I am married to a china man) Made me laugh out loud quite frankly! Love ya guys
ReplyDeleteKristin and family