Day 89 - Spent 12 hours with The Mouse. The feelings of missing Leigh seemed to grow by the hour. There I was amongst thousands and thousands of people and not one of them was Leigh. Sometimes I'll get caught in a massive flood of flashbacks surrounding Leigh's death. The thoughts of her actually being dead, replaying the night of March 6th over and over again, remembering the officer who broke the news and hearing exactly what he said, how life has been since.
I watched thousands of people walk by and I was constantly wondering, "Why Leigh Ann? Why did she have to die? When everyone around me is enjoying the day, where in the world is my wife? Why isn't she here to watch her kids have so much fun? Is she really gone for good? Is the reality that every time we have fun she won't be here? How does any of this make sense?"
Leigh Ann would have thoroughly enjoyed this vacation. And I would have thoroughly enjoyed watching her enjoy this vacation. Instead, I'm watching the kids have a great time, experiencing joy, battling loneliness, and trusting that God has Leigh Ann alive and well somehow enjoying Heaven, knowing all the while that I miss her in such a strong way.
Day 4 of Disney included:
- Mulholland Madness
- Trapped inside Toy Story
- Grizzly River Run
- Monsters Inc.
- Aladdin Show
- Malia either showing me her "owie," or telling me what she thought of the ride
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