Day 151

Thursday, August 5th, 2010

Day 151 - Tuesday all the kids had to go for teeth check-ups.  Two of the three escaped with no cavities.  Unfortunately, the other has eight cavities.  Yes, I am the worst parent in America.  Tonight was "meet the teacher" night for Bay and Cade. 

Malia has a death-grip on the chair!

Bailey, trying to get as close to the fetal position as possible!

Caden has to go back for more work.  Guess who had the cavities?!

In both situations Leigh Ann would have been the "go to" parent.  In each instance she would have been the kids' first choice for comfort, wisdom, encouragement.  I don't say this for any other reason than it's true.  Who best to comfort a child than a mother?  Especially a mother like Leigh Ann.  She would have known what to say to Caden when she saw a tear roll down his eye as he tried his best to maintain a stiff upper lip at the dentist.  Instead he had his goofball dad taking pictures.  Leigh would have known what questions to ask the teachers tonight. 

Our new reality is not only is Leigh Ann gone, but the maternal instinct from our family is gone.  The kids have received great help from grandmothers and aunts.  But it's not the same.  I'm not a mom.  I'm a dad who acts like a dad. 

Looking down the road at the countless times each of our kids will need a "mother's touch" only to find their dad staring back at them, forces me to a place I've never been before.  A place of wholly trusting God to provide for my kids.  No one else can fill the void Leigh has left.  God has to do that for Caden, Bailey, and Malia.  He has to show them He's in control and He will provide for them.  That life will be not only OK but actually good.  And that though they will be without a mother they are never without their Father.  I'm taking Jesus at His Words when He says, "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Heb 13:5).  God deserves my praise no matter my circumstances but how much more do I want to praise Him knowing He's going to take care of my kids in the areas I simply cannot.  

"Thank You Father for meeting our needs.  Thank You for not leaving us.  I praise You for Your unceasing love and concern for us.  May our lives be a testimony of Your goodness."