Day 351

Monday, February 21st, 2011

Day 351 - Maybe your house looks the same...

Bailey had "it," passed it to me, then back to Bay, and now to Caden.  Nights are spent listening to incessant coughing (last night Bay coughed so hard he threw up), and sore throat moaning.  $50 was spent having a PA tell me my kid has a bad cough - wonderful.  I did try the "Vicks-on-the-bottom-of-the -feet" with Bay last night.  Mixed results but he was very excited to wake up to clean-smelling feet.

Many of you are fighting the same illnesses with your kids (if not worse) so I'm preaching to the choir when I say the days become just a little longer and patience is stretched just a little thinner. 

This isn't my first rodeo with sick children.  But add to to the mix grieving and single parenting, and the results can be dicey.  Though I haven't blogged for a few days doesn't mean I haven't been mentally and emotionally busy.  I continue to look for answers to unanswerable questions, I continue to replay every minute of that fateful night, I continue to look at my kids with sympathy, I continue to visit my theology, a theology which once was "foolproof," now at times seems to raise more questions than provides answers.  All to say the dance of balancing the daily grind with grieving is a delicate one.  Many days I feel like I have two left feet.

Today I was able to find great comfort in Paul's words, "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us." - Rom 8:18.  As I've contemplated the afterlife, especially with the thought of reuniting with Leigh Ann, I can't help but praise God that any and all suffering simply cannot compare to what awaits us.  I may not have all the answers and many questions still remain but what an awesome truth to grab hold of.

Though I can't see it quite yet there truly is Light at the end of this tunnel.

Prayer Requests -
- Bailey and Caden need some physical healing.
- Several friends have children with varying degrees of sickness (some hospitalized).
- Kate McRae and her continued brave battle with cancer.
- That I would find joy in the darkness.

"Father, I don't deserve Your grace but I won't deny it either.  Thank You for Your plan, especially the part about what is to come.  May it come sooner than later."