Day 3

March 9, 2010
Detective handling the case stopped by with Leigh's purse. I can't look at it, can't open it, can't do anything with it. I couldn't pick out her clothes, I can't do anything associated with her personal stuff. I just can't. I don't want to. Mom, Dad, Peggy, and Larry went to the funeral home today. They said Leigh's body arrived and that her outside looks good. The detective described the case as far as he can tell: Leigh was waiting three or four cars back at Greenfield and Germann. The kid (20 yr old) that killed her had blown through two red lights and was headed south on Greenfield doing between 65 – 70 mph. He came up on Leigh and hit her from behind without even touching his brakes. The officer said his car hit hers and most of the impact was on the passenger side bumper. So it looks like at the very last second he realized he was too close and tried to turn but it was too late. He hit her at such a speed that the back of the Ford is completely smashed in. Her car flipped over the car in front of hers and landed on the roof. His car spun into the oncoming traffic headed north and was t-boned. The detective believes Leigh died immediately with a broken neck. The kid also died at the scene. I picture this all happening within seconds where one minute two people are alive and well and the within seconds two people are dead. The human side of me demands justice, as the detective said by all accounts this never should have happened. This was a kid who was driving a murder weapon and was going to kill the first person he ran into. Leigh Ann just happened to be that person.
Of course I could go down the path of "whys?" Why her car? Why couldn't he have taken another road? Why couldn't she have been somewhere else? Why was he driving so fast and out of control?
But in the end, it simply was her time to leave Earth. God had set up the number of her days to be 35 years of life here on Earth. And I'll say this 'til the day I die – Leigh Ann lived her life so, so very well. I was the one she chose to be a life-mate with and she'll never have another human husband. I made so many wrong choices during our marriage. I honestly was looking forward to the next 10 years together because I truly wanted to make changes. Tell her "I love you" more, do more things together, talk more. I'll never have that chance on Earth, but I so desire to be with her in heaven so that I can be reunited and honor her in a way that I didn't here on Earth. I know heaven is for the worship of Christ and that she's involved with the millions of other saints who are doing just that. I know she will not accept any praise from me as it should all go to our Savior. It's not that I want to praise her but rather just to let her know that I was married to this fantastic woman whom I didn't tell enough that she was so good for me. Leigh Ann was liked by everyone.
So many people are stopping by to grieve with us. She touched the lives of so, so many. I still can't believe that people won't get the opportunity on Earth to meet her. That is truly their loss. But for those of us who knew her, we should count ourselves as blessed. God has been good to us and especially to me. I'll spend the rest of my life trying to figure out why she had to go so soon. But I'll forever be grateful to God for allowing me to be Leigh Ann's husband. She deserved much better and I couldn't have done any better. I love you so much Leigh.
"Father, please, please make Heaven as good as it can be for Leigh Ann. I know You're filling her heart with love so much that she need not miss the things on Earth. I pray that she will enjoy her new friends. I miss her so much and need to know why this happened. Now that she's gone I want to be with her and experience Heaven together. I'll wait until You call me and while I wait may I do Your will. I want to run the race well. I know Leigh wants that for me. So may I have the strength to do that. May I live from this moment on in light of taking up my cross and following You."