Day 4

March 10, 2010
9:51 a.m.
Leigh,
We've all been together for the past 3 days and yet we're all hanging in there. Little moments here and there but overall it's running ok. I'm so tired of hugging people! I know it helps them as much as it helps me. Dr. Shousha came by. It was so nice because he and his wife were so sincere. Knowing how much support I've gotten I really, really wish this were me that had died. Now I know you would have been taken care of because I'm being taken care of. You would have been so better off. Working a couple days a week, being loved by all these people, raising our children. I just don't understand why this is happening the way it is. Please send me your love. Even though I don't deserve it and I know you're enjoying Heaven, I need to know you still love me. I need to know that Heaven will be a time where we can be together. I've hugged everyone else. I want to hug you again. I want to hug you and never let you go. I want you to show me around Heaven. I want you to be my tour guide. I love you so much. May the Lord take care of our children if I can die and be with you. If I knew they'd have the best care and that they would be ok I'd jump off a cliff just to be with you. The loneliness is setting in and it's not just being lonely, it's missing someone in my life. That someone is you. Leigh Ann Tonkinson, my wife, my love.