Day 8

Sunday, March 14, 2010
Day 8
Worshipped today. Incredibly helpful. First song, "Hosanna," made me go to Heaven and wonder what Leigh's worship has been like lately. Matt led and Amy was helping sing. It sounded beautiful. I caught a glimpse of Heaven. I could picture Leigh singing with such gladness because of her Savior. And that she was rejoicing because I was worshipping as well. We were connected this morning through worship. Colby did a great job of teaching this morning. Spoke out of Zechariah and how many of us are exiled in one form or another. And that being exiled only means that we have hope in the King who came to bring us out of exile. I took great comfort in knowing that because Jesus paid the great penalty for my sins I not only have hope but I can rejoice in being reunited with my bride. One day. One day.
The kids and I went to the cemetery after a trip to McDonalds and Barnes and Noble. No need to cry. Definitely sad. Wish we weren't spending our days without Leigh Ann. But here we are. So we prayed and talked about death and talked about Heaven. We read Psalm 23 and John 3:14-18. What's it like for a 4, 6, and 10 year old to spend their days at a cemetery thinking about their mom? I'll never know. I just know from the perspective of a father and husband. God have mercy on these precious kids.
I saw a dad with his child up the way from Leigh's grave. I wanted to say something but didn't. I should have because after they left I went to the grave they were at. A woman, 29 or so, who died in 2008. My guess is he has been experiencing my pain for a couple years now. I'm so ticked I didn't say anything. I can only hope our paths cross again so I can find out what life is like for him. Maybe share the gospel.
Received a letter from a one of Leigh's co-workers. A Christian who just had the most kind words for Leigh. Absolutely beautiful. And today at church someone remarked that what he noted at the funeral were how many non-Christians were there. How many co-workers, neighbors, friends, who may or may not know Jesus. Inotherwords Leigh was truly "salt" to the earth. She was loved by so many and they all weren't Christians. How truly remarkable of a woman I was privileged to marry, know, love, and be a friend to. I love her more now than ever and I wish I could just die and tell her that over and over again. Someday I will. Be it tomorrow or 50 years from now. I will tell her over and over how much she meant to everyone, how much I love her, and how proud I am of her. May my life come even a little close to being a light to this dark world.
"Father, I'm dying, but thank You for today."